Good Times Goooood Times (For: Comedy Cat's Contest)
by HowAboutThat
Summary: Obviously this is for Comedy Cat's Constest for Misto-Forever. So, here's what I decided to do. Do some random one-shots (so that means more sugar for me. YAY!), get them straight from the funny part of me that you've all seen before, and up the ante. Let's see how it goes! Rated T because... come on, I'm paranoid and I'm sure there won't always be kid friendly stuff on here.
1. Are You A Tom Or Naw?

HAT: ... I was watching Cats again and I thought... why not?

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. but the plot.**_

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The cats separate in order to get ready for the battle of the pekes and the pollicles. Skimbleshanks was just about ready to run into place when he noticed Mistoffelees wasn't on the toms' side and he wonders where the little black and white tux is when his glass-green eyes spot him... on the queens' side. The small tom was leaned against his pipe and smiling at Rumpelteazer as she gets ready to play a peke for Munkustrap's story on the Great Rumpus Cat.

_Confound it! That lad's almost as bad as his brothers!_ The marmalade tom thinks with irritation as he hustles over to the black and white tom.

"So maybe after the Ball we could go for a hunt?" the (surprisingly for you, I'm sure) flirtatious young tom asks, his dark eyes filled with light and a smile on his lips as he leans towards the calico queen. "Maybe go to the pond?"

"Or you could get on the toms' side!" Skimble growls, a bit overprotective of his female charge.

Mistoffelees straightens. "We're that close to starting? Well, give me a sec."

"Are you a queen?" Skimble asks.

"No," replies the white faced tom.

"Then get on the toms' side! Now come on," the orange cat hisses quietly.

Mistoffelees, being the showboat he is, has to run in front, leaving Skimble to run behind everyone else and hissing for him to stay in place this time as the small cat slides on his knees to the other side. When Skimble gets to his spot beside the young flirt he cuffs his ears.

"Don't try that again, understand?"

Mistoffelees rubs his ear and grumbles, "Yes, Uncle Skimble."

Skimbleshanks rolls his eyes and shakes his head. What is he to do with this flirtatious young tom? If he doesn't nip this in the bud he might be as much of a heart breaker and heartthrob as the Rum Tum Tugger, his elder brother. So long as he can prevent the transition for this particular song he should be fine for the time being. (A/N: I was gonna end it here, but then...) Suddenly Skimble feels an elbow in his ribs and looks down at Mistoffelees who gestures to his other brother, a silver and black tabby with silver eyes.

"What about Munkustrap?" Skimble asks before pausing to bark.

"Let's add a little something to make Munkus irritated before Tugger comes out."

_Again with the bagpipes..._ Skimble thinks before his ears perk. "What's your idea?"

"We come at him from behind his back," Mistoffelees explains as they run off to get into their pollicle's costume. "Like this!"

Mistoffelees demonstrates and Skimble shrugs. "Why not?"

The two of them come out, Skimbleshanks with his usual smile, this time it having a little mischief to it. Munkustrap glares at Skimble before sending him on his way. Then Tugger comes out, his brother already irritated, and Skimble does a little gig with the others before kneeling quickly on time. After they bow to Old Deuteronomy the Conjuring Cat turns and face the Railway Cat for a second and Skimble tilts his head, wondering what's about to be said.

"You were on the queen's side too... does that make you a queen?"

Skimble tries to get the irritating tom's attention, but it doesn't work before Old Deuteronomy starts singing so he just settles down beside his sister, silently seething.

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HAT: And that's a wrap!

Mistoffelees: You made me into Tugger!

HAT: Yep!

Mistoffelees: But the Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore!

HAT: *giggles* Yes, I know.

Mistoffelee: *sighs* And I guess there's no doing anything about it?

HAT: Nope!

Mistoffelees: Review...


	2. Asparagus Jr Annoyed?

HAT: Okay! Let's see how this chapter turns out... *sips on root beer* By the way... this one has language. And yes, I'm bringing up the most irritating shit (see, the bad language has already begun) back and making you both mad and laugh.

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. but the plot.**_

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Asparagus is a quiet tom, doesn't say much... but when everyone started to get annoying he said a lot... in his head. Here's a list of things that the kits brought back from their human's houses that he found irritating beyond belief and the fact that every single kit uses it over and over and over again:

_What does the Fox say?_ (A/N: how many of you hate me right now for this?) His response: Who cares what the fox says? Why would any sane cat sit there and question what the fox says when the fox can clearly eat them! Asparagus can see it now. A kit walking right up to the fox and asking what it says.

_I'll tell you what the fox says. It says: oh, look! Dinner!_ Asparagus thinks, stalking away from his son, Admetus who had brought up the stupid thing.

"YOLO!" Pouncival yells, jumping off the top of a pile.

_What the hell! You do only live _once _so why the hell are you risking your life only life? That's just stupid!_ Asparagus thinks. _Yeah, use up the only life you have doing stupid shit with this idea in mind..._

As he finds a quiet spot to lie down he thinks, _They're wearing my patience..._

"Hey, Asparagus," Tugger says with a smile.

"Hello, Tugger," replies the older tom, not bothering to open his eyes or hide his frustration.

"You mad bro?"

_I wasn't mad until you said something? 'You mad bro?' NO! I wasn't until you brought up that annoying phrase! Thanks, thanks a lot!_ The irritated rusty red tom thinks, stalking away from the Maine Coon. Tugger calls after him, but doesn't get a reply from the stubborn older tom.

"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!" Mungojerrie crows before noticing Asparagus standing there, his tail twitching irritably. "Oh, hey... you mad bro? Or naw?"

That... was the last straw. "Fuck this! I'm going out for a drink!"

With that he storms out of the junkyard.

"What's his problem?" Mungojerrie demands.

Jellylorum rolls her eyes. "He doesn't like anything you just said.

Mungojerrie shrugs. "Oh well... _Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!_" Mungojerrie yells at the top of his lungs. "_Everybody!_"

"Fuck this! Where's my Scotch?!" Skimbleshanks demands, storming into his den.

Looks like two toms were irritated beyond belief today... wonder why?

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HAT: On here are some things that get irritated and some are what irritates my dad.

Asparagus: I'd never curse in front of kits. I'm really quite calm.

HAT: Not in this story!

Asparagus: -_- Review...


	3. Macavity, Maca- IS HE DRUNK!

HAT: So, I decided to enter a contest. Yes, I know: Not another one! Well, too bad! On the bright side this one's for humor. Let's see how I do!

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Macavity:

It's a beautiful day! The sun's not shining! The birds are completely silent! There's thunder and lightning encouraging me! There's no rain! And best of all? Come on, guess... _I'm drunk!_ Yep. Whiskey's a beautiful thing and I can't wait to get at the Jellicles! Why does everything have exclamation points?... OH WELL! Lol... gah, I hate that word... lol. I giggle and then hiccup, taking another swig of whiskey. It was an amazing baby shower! Or was it a birthday party? Or was it a bachelor's party?... It was some sort of party.

What was I saying?

"MACAVITY!"

Ah, Demeter! That was a beautiful scream... wait... Man, how much did I drink?!

"Is he... drunk?!"

"YESH I AM!" I yell at the top of my lungs, drinking a little more. I glance at my brothers, Munkustrap and Tugger and the sane part of me sees that they're up to something, however the drunk me... not so much. I walk over and throw my arms over their shoulders. "Hey you two! Do ya got any whiskey?"

"You have whiskey in your paw," Tugger points out.

"And I don't think you need anything else to drink," Munkustrap says, gently trying to take my bottle.

_My baby!_ I think and bring the bottle closer to me. "NO! MINE!"

"Perfect," my brothers say.

|TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP||TIME SKIP|

I wake up and rub my pounding head and then look around to find out where I am. I'm at home and I'm in my bed. I get up to get myself a drink of water and then notice a camera. I don't have a camera. There's a note beside it that says _Watch._ I open the viewing part and see my brothers, Munkustrap and the Rum Tum Tugger, chuckling on screen.

"_Hey, bro!_" Tugger says merrily on the screen with a grin, his amber eyes alight with mischief, something that's normal.

"_We just wanted to make you a video of yourself,_" Munkustrap says equally as merry with a cheeky grin and his silver eyes alight with mischief, something that's abnormal.

The camera suddenly turns on the ginger tom (yes, I'm not going to say I did any of this) who has a bottle of whiskey in his paw. He finishes it and then climbs a pile clumsily before tumbling down on Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots... accidentally kissing Jenny.

"_Hmm... you're nice,_" the drunken tom says, cuddling up to Jenny who blushes furiously.

Skimble can be seen seething. "_You have three seconds to get off my sister before you die... and I give you a five second head start._"

Even when drunk I- er I mean, he- can be smart enough to figure out to take that. The ginger fiend shoots up and darts away before Skimble grabs a spear and throws it with deadly accuracy, but luckily I tripped and it landed in front of me.

_He tried to kill me!_ I think, though I know he's really overprotective of his sister and with good reason. _Well at least Lyon wasn't there, too._

"_MACAVITY!_" a gray and black calico roars, seething just as badly as Skimble.

_Oh shit... how'd I live?_ I wonder.

The two railway toms stand next to each other and they both grab bows and arrows (which I didn't know they had... they kept them hidden from me *pout*). They get ready to fire and aim right at me- the tom that kissed Jennyanydots.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_" the tomcat screams... like a she-kit.

I can hear Munkustrap and Tugger laughing in the background and I hang my head in shame, wondering how my deep baritone voice could get that high. I watched as I- he- bob and weave through the arrows that land here and there and everywhere. All the cats are long gone except for me, the target of their frustrations.

"_I didn't mean it!_" the yellow eyed tom yells for his life before clambering up the fence and getting two arrows stuck in the tail. "_YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWCH!_"

That explains why my butt is soar. The camera turns back to my brothers.

"_And that's why you shouldn't get drunk while trying to walk home_," the silver and gold cats say before the screen goes blank.

"Hey boss! Whatcha watchin' in there?!" Mungojerrie calls, he and his sister not having been there.

"NOTHING!" I yell, destroying the tape.

Then a note falls out and I pick it up and it reads: _We made multiple copies._

"NO!" I cry out, my voice going a few octaves too high.

"Do you have a queen in there?" Mungojerrie asks.

"Um... yes."

"You hesitated..."

"GO STEAL SOMETHING!"

"Okay... what do you want me to steal?"

"A diamond."

"Okay!"

I groan. _I'm never gonna life this down._

* * *

HAT: I hope it was funny enough.

Deuteronomy: I don't think Macavity would do that.

HAT: Oh really?

Deuteronomy: ... you're probably right.

HAT: *nods* MHM! Now, will you please say it?

Deuteronomy: Review.


	4. Oh, Macavity's in Trouble (B-Day Present

An Idea I thought of when I was writing a story... don't ask. Let's see how this turns out! Oh, and by the way this is a present for Brittny, her birthday is coming up so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you love this story!

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Macavity walks through the corridors of his hideout, not really doing anything on this relaxing day. Today's a laid back day, at least for him, but most of his hench-cats are taking the day off too. Even those on the wrong side of the law have to have time off, but that doesn't mean that they won't immediately jump into action if they're compromised, which is why there are still a lot of guards and everyone's alert, but that happens even on the most relaxing days.

The ginger cat walks past a white one and he nods his acknowledgement. "Hello, Griddle,"

"Hello, Mac," she says with a seductive tone that's always there.

He keeps walking and then he sees the same white queen again. "D-didn't I just see you?"

She shakes her head. "No... are you okay, Mac?" she asks, putting her paw on his forehead and he backs up.

"I just need some sleep," he assures, but whether it was her or himself that he was trying to assure, he didn't know.

"Let me know if you need anything," she says as he starts to walk away.

"Alright," he replies, rubbing his forehead with his fore and index fingers and trying to ease the pain in his head.

He goes to get something to eat, feeling like food and water is what he needs to ease himself and he quickly gets himself something to eat and drinks as much water as he can stand. When he's sure dehydration and hunger are no longer the issue with his hallucinations, he decides to train a few newbies.

"Hi Griddlebone!" a cat to his far left says.

"Hello, Mistress Griddlebone," another cat says to his far right.

He looks back and forth and then the two white queens come to stand side by side. He doesn't know if it's a dream come true or a living nightmare and they stare intently at the Napoleon of Crime with expecting looks and he, at first, doesn't know why they're staring at him like this, but them realization hits him when they start looking angry with him.

"So... which one's the real one?" They both ask. "And you're _better _choose right."

He looks back and forth, trying to determine what's slightly different from the both of them, but there's absolutely nothing to tell them apart. He's screwed! He can't do anything to help himself! Who's idea was it to make a clone of Griddlebone?

"U-uh-um..." he stutters, sweat gathering under his fur.

"Who's the Griddle-clone?" they ask as one. Macavity turns and runs in the direction of freedom, but suddenly two pairs of white feet land on either side of his back and then they each grab an ankle and drag him back. "Answer the question, Macavity!"

"Nooooooo! I wasn't ready!" he yells at the top of his lungs and glaring at his hench-cats. "Help me! Help me! NIGGA! Help me!" (Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain, lol)

"No," the others say, rather preferring to stay out of the doghouse with the fierce queen.

Th-the one on the right!"

"Wrong answer!" the real one roars, dragging the ginger cat into the building.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Oh, Macavity's in trouble.

* * *

HAT: Looks like he's screwed.

Macavity: Of course I am.

HAT: *giggles* Sorry!

Macavity: Yeah, right.

HAT: Could you say it for me?

Macavity: HAT owns nothing but the plot and please review.


	5. Why You Don't Give Etc Candy

HAT: This came because my dad got me a York Peppermint Patty and I ate it all in one sitting. Yes, you should be scared when I have sugar in my system because, as you saw from _Munkustrap's gone CRAZY!_ I get weird and don't take any actual facts into consideration. OH! MARSHMALLOWS!~ I can make s'mores! :3 I ish happy! (After going back from my sugar high, I wonder if this is funny... oh well, you tell me!)

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Gus the Theater Cat is known for giving candy to the kits. The worst mistake he could have ever made in the entirety of his long life is give candy to the daughter of Jennyanydots and niece to Skimbleshanks... No, not the black and brown stripped tabby with dark brown eyes. The silver and brown tabby with dark brown eyes. Yes, you know and love this adorable queen-kit as everyone does. She is also the biggest fan of the Rum Tum Tugger.

Etcetera.

Now, everyone's known not to give her candy after the first time... but apparently Gus wasn't around for that, but that doesn't mean he was ill informed of what happens under such circumstances and, look, he's leaving right after he gives it to her. The junkyard is doomed. Gus gave her the candy and hobbled away as fast as he could, which was surprisingly pretty damn fast for a tomcat that had to get help from his daughter-in-law without said daughter-in-law's help. Etcetera's eyes glint with a sugar high already and the second she swallows that candy it seemed even the Everlasting Cat backed up and said, "Welp, you're all on your own." because what happens next... is gonna tell you why you never give Etcetera candy ever. This experience has been documented by her brother, Pouncival, who unfortunately didn't make it.

...

"_AHHHHHH! GET'ER OFFA ME!_" Tugger cries out, Etcetera on his back in the brief image the camera shows. "_H-HELP! I've been captured!_"

The camera shakes as the one holding it tries to run away. Cats in the camera's vision are running, scrambling to get away from the source of their panic. The owner of the camera weaves through junkpiles and the follows a black and gold figure into the large den and for a second everything grows dark until it focuses on a large group gathered in a circle and then it's pointed shakily towards a silver tabby with black stripes and silver eyes.

"Alright, Tugger and Old Deuteronomy have been captured by Etcetera and Gus went AWOL after giving her the candy," the tabby says.

"Munkustrap, we're we gonna do?" someone asks and the camera zooms in on a red queen with dark brown eyes, a white chest, and black leopard spots.

"I don't know Bomba... but we have to get them back. Who knows how she's torturing them," Munkustrap mutters.

-ELSEWHERE-

"_I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie wooooorld!_" Etcetera sings with the music.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_" Tugger and Old Deuteronomy scream at the top of their lungs.

-Back with Pouncival-

"Operation Sugar Rush is a go!" Munkustrap yells.

Pouncival runs after other cats and then in the middle of the clearing Etcetera is singing to 'Barbie Girl' while father and son are tied up and their tears fall down while their ears are flattened and heads are bowed at the torture they have to endure.

"I can't believe that's my sister," mutters the one holding the camera.

"Believe it. This is why you don't give her candy," replies an orange queen with leopard spots and tiger stripes.

"Yes, mom."

"So you've come to play! Let's go!" Etcetera says, laughing maniacally.

"Charge!"

The camera gets shakes violently as the holder runs forward with the group and Etcetera weaves through swipes like it's nothing. She turns to face the camera and rushes forward. The camera turns and you can hear the one holding it is panting with the effort of running as fact as they can. Suddenly there's a loud thump and he looks behind him to see Tantomile get dragged by her leg screaming while Coricopat grabs her paw and tries to save her.

Macavity comes then and the camera zooms and focuses on him who has a sadistic grin. "Already running around like ants because of-"

Etcetera grabs his tail and yanks, the ginger fiend being dragged away. "You've been a bad kitty, Macy!"

Macavity pauses and frowns while those around him laugh and the camera shakes more with this laughter. "Macy?! Di... did you just make me a queen?"

"Yes!" giggles the hyper queen-kit as she drags him the rest of the way kicking and screaming, protesting the name Macy and then a scream rises as Barney plays in the background.

"Retreat! Retreat!" Munkustrap yells only to be tackled by the cause of all of this chaos. "No! Don't play-"

"_Oppa gangnam style!_"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Pouncival, run!" Tumblebrutus yess, shoving his younger brother away while his own littermate shoves him violently to the ground.

"Tag! You're it!"

Electra screams as Justin Beiber's Baby is played near her and Poucival stops, scared for his littermate. "Electra!... Damn it, I can't let Tumblebrutus' sacrifice be in vain! I'm sorry, Electra!"

Pouncival, after ducking and dodging many cats to get away, tumbles over toy mouse that belongs to Etcetera and the camera faces Skimbleshanks who has his claws digging into the ground as he's dragged out of the camera view of the camera. Then the camera spins as it's knocked out of his paw and it faces him, showing him as Etcetera pins him down and puts her pinky in her mouth.

"No!" Pouncival screams, ears flattening against his head. And then he's given the Wet Willy and he lies there, emerald eyes wide and staring at the sky while she goes to her next victim. Then the most annoying song ever starts playing... The Song That Never Ends... Screams can be heard from all around the junkyard as Etcetera sings over and over and over again. After a while Pouncival rolls onto his stomach and crawls towards the camera. "Etcy... if you're watching this... you know what happens when you have sugar... place don't have any ever again... Goodbye."

He drops his head and passes out, no longer able to stand the never ending song.

...

Etcetera looks at the camera and lifts her head to look at the damage that was, at first, unexplained to her with the junk no longer neat-ish, and many cats passed out... and Macavity being here passed out too, muttering, "I'm not Macy, I'm not Macy" in his sleep.

"I caused all of this?" she asks and then a smirk comes to her face as she picks up a chocolate bar unwrapped and she tilts her head. "I'll save this for a special occasion."

She whistles merrily as she goes to take a nap and everyone groans, getting up and then the music plays again and they drop down and yell, "_ETCETERA!_"

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HAT: *giggles uncontrollably*

Tugger: *backs away slowly* She owns nothing but the plot... Review. *dashes away*


	6. Broken Mind

HAT: This is what I get for rereading Horseplay. *evil smile* Except mine might be worse. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Today was the best day of the Rum Tum Tugger's life. He finally got his baby brother, a silver and black tabby, the eye colors are unknown currently, and his Second Name is Munkustrap. Tugger really hopes his brother's First Name will be Fluffy because of his current amount of fluff. But, anyway, he was finally a big brother and could do to Munkustrap what Macavity did to him, and he vowed to be a good big brother. So, he walks into his parents' den, having already given his brother to Silhouette, to ask them what big brothers are supposed to do, because if he asked Macavity, his brother wouldn't answer.

"Tugger, come play with us!" Bombalurina calls.

He smiles and runs off to play, finding that he's now in a game of tag, which usually lasts for hours, but this time only lasted a small amount of time surprisingly. Then he remembers that he had a question for his parents and decides to go into the den and he doesn't see them cuddled on the couch like usual so he goes to their room to see if they're in there. He goes in and sees his parent's doing something weird, but it looks important...

_Is dad feeding momma like a bird? But we're cats,_ Tugger thinks, tilting his head. _And is he hurting her? Or is she hurting him? Or is it both?_

He shakes his head and goes out and gets his older brother to answer the question since he knows a little bit more than him even though they're a pawful of years apart in age, but that pawful of years is enough of a gap of knowledge for a lot of cats.

"Mac!" Tugger calls to his older brother, who's talking to Skimbleshanks, Ruthenbalt's apprentice. For a second he forgets his question. "Can you play?"

Skimble chuckles. "I thought you had something to ask."

Tugger's amber eyes widen and he nods. "Oh, yeah! I was wondering what momma and daddy were doing."

Macavity tilts his head. "I don't know. I haven't seen them."

AT this the small Maine Coon tugs at the small mane starting to grow out. "No! Just follow me!" he says, going towards the den.

Red and orange cats share a confused look before following the little black and brown kitten into the den. Tugger opens the bedroom door a little and both of the older kits cover their mouths and yellow and glass-green eyes quickly look away, dragging the kitten out and going outside towards anywhere, but that den! Tugger protests and demands to know what's so bad about it, if his parents were fighting and trying to hurt one another, but they kept his mouth covered so those around him wouldn't hear anything. Finally they reach a secluded area and releast the younger kitten.

"What's going on?!" Tugger demands.

"U-um... you tell him," Macavity orders, elbowing the older tom.

Skimble gapes at him. "Why me?!"

"Well, you're older!"

Tugger glares at the two of them. "Just tell me!"

Glass-green eyes fill with uncertainty as the owner of the eyes gulps and kneels in front of him. "Um... well, your mommy and daddy are doing something called... well, never mind that, now... and that's the process of how they make kittens..."

"But how did dad get a big kitten inside of momma?"

The orange face pales and then there's blush on his cheeks. "Um... he kisses her..."

"Was that why daddy has his tongue down her throat?"

"Yeah, that's why... Go play and forget about it," Macavity says and when his younger brother runs away breathes a sigh of relief. "Hopefully he doesn't go to anyone else like-"

"Grandpa!"

The two share a look. "You don't think..." Skimble starts, trailing off.

"That grandpa will tell him the truth?" Macavity says before laughing nervously. "No, I don't think so."

"_That's how my brother was made?!_" Tugger screams, his mind broken.

The two drop to the ground and groan, disappointed that their efforts to keep the maned kit from knowing the truth and staying innocent.

* * *

HAT:Yes, you hate me... but you know you're laughing... perverts... though I'm no better than ya'll so *shrugs*

Cassandra: That was... interesting... she owns nothing and... please review...

HAT: Please, no flames!


	7. I Hear Voices And They Don't Like You

HAT: I gave blood today so I'm a little loopy. Didn't eat much beforehand and now I'm paying the price... and so are you. Hope you enjoy!

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Skimbleshanks isn't in a good mood today. Why would that be? Why would the most cheerful tomcat in the entire junkyard and favorite uncle having a bad day? Why, that answer is quite simple and it's to be expected. It's because of a black and gray calico tom that has blue-gray eyes. The name of this cat? Lyon. Yes, this is his brother-in-law, mated to his beloved sister, Jennyanydots, an orange queen with black tiger stripes and leopard spots. How can such a lovable tom get on another lovable tom's nerves? Well, that's simple... Skimble, as he always says, has a low tolerance for ignorance and foolishness. In all actuality, Lyon's talkative today and decided to talk his bother in law's ear off.

"You ever realize how different Jenny's eyes are when in the sunlight then in the moonlight?" Lyon asks, jumping from talking about how he misses his mate whenever they're on the train.

_Why does he always jump from one subject to the next at random and then go back?_ Mentally complains the marmalade tom. _It's so hard to follow and it works my nerves._

"Yes," Skimble admits, remembering whenever he babysat her and would just hold her just to do it when she was younger and he first became a big brother... right after she gained her eye color. "I did..."

Obviously this bi-colored calico couldn't hear the irritation from his older brother figure so he continues to talk anyway. Despite Skimbleshanks saying he has a low tolerance for ignorance and foolishness, he has amazing patience with it. Patience and tolerance are two different things. Inside he is seething and/or complaining while on the outside he's as cool as a cucumber. Lyon cannot understand the danger that he is in and seems to be pushing all the wrong buttons.

Finally the marmalade tom gets up and then just walks away. Lyon keeps talking for a few more seconds and when he looks at where the tom once was, he blinks and stutters to a stop before finding that his big brother is walking away from him.

"Skimble! Where're you going?" demands the younger brother.

"Away from you," answers the brown tailed tom.

Lyon scrambles up to his feet and jogs after Skimble. "Come on, why do you always do that?"

"I hear voices... and they don't like you," replies the glass-green eyed tom, referring to his thoughts that are filled with more or less satisfying images of throwing his sister's mate into a dog's cage... and another with somewhat the same thing... except the dog is in hear. "So stop talking."

The calico stares at the tabby in shock and wonders who's talking and listens carefully to their surroundings. "Who do you hear?"

_He's so dense sometimes,_ thinks the older tom as he sighs. "Figure it out."

Later that night Lyon tucks in the kits, his mate's from a past relationship and his own (though he loves them all the same), and then settles into the bed that he shares with his beloved mate and gets cuddled up to by her and they share a pleasant conversation with her before going to sleep, as they always do... and then he remembers what Skimbleshanks said earlier.

"Skimble said that he heard voices and they didn't like me... who was he talking about?"

Jenny laughs. "He means his thoughts. He's hearing his own thoughts."

Her mate pouts. "That's not nice."

"You've known this for years."

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings."

"Just go to sleep," she replies, kissing his cheek and settling to go to sleep.

* * *

HAT: *giggles* Yay! I honestly forgot about this so now I'm posting it!

Persephone: *rolls her eyes* My son...

HAT: Yeah, I made him really not like Lyon.

Persephone: Anyway, HAT owns nothing but Lyon, Me, and the plot.

HAT: Please review!


End file.
